Yesterday I caught part of a Dr. Phil show about disastrous wedding days. A woman was on who had had an allergic reaction at her wedding reception and eventually had to be taken away by an ambulance in a state of anaphylactic shock. Nine years later, she is still upset about this. She was moaning, "I didn't get to throw the bouquet, I didn't get to do the garter, all those things you dream about." She also was angry with her husband because when her reaction started and her nose, lips, and even her ears were swelling up, she asked him if she looked bad, and he told her, "No, you look beautiful," even though he could see that her facial features were swelling. Her husband felt she should get over this event, because they had been happily married for nine years. I agree.
When I was listening to her whine about everything that happened, I thought how different, and how much better, it would be if she were telling the same events, but with a sense of humor as a funny story. For nine years, if she had been able to laugh about it, she could have told a funny story that people would enjoy hearing. Instead, she complained in a way that would make people want to cover their ears and yell, "Make it stop!"
Then a beautiful metaphor occurred to me, that I want to share with the world, starting with you, my readers. It is this:
Complaining is verbal farting. It gives momentary relief, but it's distinctly unpleasant for everyone nearby.
(Or perhaps I should say di-stink-ly unpleasant. Har.)
So, ponder that at your leisure, and like the wedding guest in The Rime of the Ancient Mariner, go your way a sadder and a wiser [person].
2 comments:
my friend crashco and i (yes, that's what we call him. he drives a schoolbus for a living. and he's a safety trainer. yes, they know we call him that. we think it's funny.)
anyway, crasho's theory of distress tolerance is that you're either having a good time or you're having a really good story to tell later.
works for everything. just try it.
having a bad time? take notes. you can tel the story for gales of laughter or for that little heartwarming twist or both later on.
and what are you doing watching dr. phil anyway? i read your blog. you seem so well put together and you know, awesome.
then again, i bought a milky way candy bar ON PURPOSE in the grocery store this week, so who am i to judge?
the snow is coming down outside my house. tomorrow the skiing will be fantastic. i hope you have enjoyed your sunday, in our church celebrated very joyously as the baptism of our Lord.
peace.
I think Dr. Phil is mostly benign. I was checking out the OWN (Oprah Winfrey Network) channel. Just curious.
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