I'm such a girl

So this afternoon I finished up my Christmas shopping at Wal-Mart. I needed to get something for my two littlest local great-nieces, ages 4 and 3. I was thinking Barbies. Last year I happened to find--in Safeway while grocery shopping--two Barbies and two matching little girl Barbies in shiny, glittery princess dresses. Man, were those a hit.

Today I saw Barbies, but many of them were in bathing suits and short dresses. I was looking for a more wholesome Barbie for my innocent little ones. Finally found "Babysitter Barbie" and "Dentist Barbie." For some reason, "Babysitter Barbie" comes with--in addition to the child she is babysitting--a bathroom ensemble including a sink and toilet. I think I'll give that one to the 4-year-old. Lately she finds toilets and toilet-related topics a source of great amusement, so I might as well give her a reason to giggle. And "Dentist Barbie" may help the 3-year-old overcome her refusal to open her mouth at the dentist. These dolls may not be as entrancing as last year's princess Barbies, but they're better than Beach Blanket Barbie or Borderline Slutty Barbie.

Anyway, while I was looking for girls' stuff, I would often think, "Cute!" "Sweet!" "I would have loved this!" "Aww." "Adorable." Then I looked for a toy for my great-nephew. When I looked at boys' toys, I thought, "Bleah." "Yuck." "Ick." "Who'd want to play with that?" and occasionally, "I think he'd enjoy that, but he'd also break everything in the house--possibly including the bones of several family members" (this for a high-powered Nerf rifle). I ran into a couple ladies from my church and mentioned these thoughts to them. One who is  a mom said, "Yes, but then you get some boys and find out that they really do like that stuff." I said, "They're a crazy bunch."

It reminded me of a good book I read some years ago, You Just Don't Understand, by Deborah Tannen. Her basic thesis was that women and men grow up in separate cultures and have a culture gap to bridge when they talk to each other. Women often talk for the purpose of establishing ties of relationship, while men talk to accomplish a goal. If a person talks about a problem they have, a woman is likely to respond by talking about a similar problem, to show she understands, while a man is likely to respond either by minimizing the problem, to provide reassurance that it's not that bad, or by offering suggestions for solving the problem. Men like talk to be about something, while women often just like to talk.

I had a friend when I was in seminary who had a boyfriend. She was going to come to my place for dinner and to spend the evening, and her boyfriend gave her an interesting magazine article he had recently read and suggested it could be a topic for us--she and I--to talk about. When she told me that, we both guffawed at the idea of needing a topic for conversation--as if we would run out of things to say. I also observed that he apparently didn't realize that he himself would be our major topic.