Knowing the secret

Today at work we had a presentation by the people who administer our retirement plan. I don't have a brain for finance. They talked about growth funds and bonds and other kinds of investments I don't remember because I didn't understand them. They talked long. As I sat there I thought, I have learned when preaching to keep my sermons to twenty minutes, but now I've been listening to someone talk for an hour.

I tried to breathe deeply, but not audibly, while synchronizing my breathing to the Jesus prayer. I tried to remember how to recite, "Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon the earth, where moth and rust consume, and where thieves break through and steal: but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth consume, and where thieves do not break through nor steal: for where thy treasure is, there will thy heart be also" (Matthew 6:19-21) and, "I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want" (Philippians 4:12).

When they seemed to be winding things up, a co-worker kept asking them questions and prolonging the meeting. I tried to look at him in a way that pled, "Please, please, stop asking questions." But he did not receive my non-verbal communication. As a friend of mine once said, "Drink to me only with thine eyes, and I won't have to wash a cup."

Now, I respect their knowledge and their ability to think about and take an interest in the stock market. For some people, that's their gift and they should use it. Moreover, they're using it for my benefit in caring for my (extremely young and small) retirement account. I'm thankful for them and their work for me. It's good stewardship that I should try to amass a retirement account so that when I am old I have less likelihood of becoming a burden on others. But basically my understanding of money is my bank balance and whether that will pay my bills.

I do pray for grace to care about more than preserving my middle class lifestyle.

There are things I wish I had money for -- travel in particular. I would like to be able to go to Italy, multiple times so I could see various regions. And I'd like to go to Vienna, Austria, Germany, and France. And to England again. But travel is a luxury. If I can't travel abroad in the remainder of my life, that is not a hardship. Many people in the history of mankind have lived most or all of their lives in the same region. If I can provide for my needs, for food, clothing, and shelter, then I have no reason to complain.

No one can say money is not important because you're a Christian. The Bible talks a lot about money. It's useful, it's necessary, and it's dangerous. It's a tool and, like any tool, can be used for good or ill purposes.

It's easy to feel that I don't have as much money as I wish I had, but really I have more than enough for my needs right now and thus am highly blessed. My next big travel indulgence (deo volente) will be to Grand Rapids, Michigan (known to members of the Christian Reformed Church in North America as "Jerusalem") to my alma mater, Calvin College, and the wonderful Festival of Faith & Writing.