Dogs are gross

Oh, sure. Make fun of me.

When I came into my bedroom this evening I found my dog was licking a shirt I wore on Saturday and left lying around. When I took it away from him I discovered the particular area of the garment that he found tasteful was the armpit.

Dogs have an opposite rule of fragrance to people. If it smells like an armpit, my dog wants to taste it. If it smells like poop -- indeed if it is poop, as in bird droppings on the sidewalk or another dog's pile of doo -- then he sniffs deeply and at length and has to be dragged away from it. And if it smells putrid, rancid, rotten ... then he rubs his face in it, rolls around in it, and wallows in it.

If my dog lived according to his own nature he would be a filthy, reeking beast. But under my care his is reasonably clean and not very smelly. Only his breath is beyond remedy. He loves me enough to put up with being deprived of the pleasures of stink, and I love him enough to try to keep him civilized.