Annoying automation

Became frustrated this afternoon trying to go through the self-checker at the Lynden Safeway. I have successfully navigated the self-checker at the Barkely Haggen in Bellingham, and I like it because I proceed at my own pace and bag my groceries the way I like them to be bagged. But this is the second time I have tried to use the system at Safeway and been unable to finish without a staff member coming to fix things. Here are some complaints:

• I don't have a physical Safeway Club Card; I just use my phone number. The machine does not allow me to start by entering my phone number. First I have to scan something, and then it says, "Have you scanned your Club Card?"

• Today, as about the third item, I scanned a package of Oscar Mayer salami and tossed it in the bag. The self-scanner works by comparing the weight of what you put in the bag with what the scanner read. So the machine said, "Unexpected item in bag. Please remove the item." I looked at the onscreen list of what I had scanned, and did not see salami. So I pulled the salami back out of the bag and scanned it again. Then it was listed twice. So I went through a process to remove one of them from the list, but when I put the physical item in the bag again it told me that something unexpected was in the bag. Then it told me to wait for assistance. It told me that two or three times, while I stood around. I was looking at the screen trying to figure out how I could void the whole transaction and go over to a human checker. There was no way. I had just tossed the salami onto the scanner and remarked, "Screw it," preparatory to walking away from my whole purchase when a staff member rushed up to help me. I told him to void the whole transaction and I would go to another counter, but he voided it and scanned it all for me there. He was very kind and courteous, but I will not use the self-checker again at Safeway.

• I also don't like the screen graphics.

• And the card swiper is at an awkward angle for entering my PIN.

Two other things annoyed me in Safeway while I was shopping today. I always buy Millstone Coffee (Kona Blend) and there is a big shelf area devoted to this brand. Well, today I got there, and there was a big shelf area devoted to Safeway brand coffee, and a tiny area of a few bags of Millstone, which I suspect they will sell off and not replace.

And I went to get the type of hand soap I use, which is Method hand wash, lavender scented. Well, they had Method soap in other scents, but not lavender. I almost bought Soft Soap, lavender and chamomile, but then I thought, I'll go to Haggen store something this week and see if they have what I want there. If Safeway doesn't carry what I want, then I won't buy something I don't want; I'll go somewhere else for what I do want.

A couple weeks ago, the bread I like, Oroweat (I get their 100% Whole Wheat), had been squished into a smaller area to make room for, yes, Safeway brand bread. I do not buy store brand products, except maybe toilet paper, and I don't appreciate having the products I do like replaced with cheapo knockoffs.

Store "club cards" are really a way for stores to track your purchases. I don't believe you get a discount by using them but rather that you avoid a fine they assess against anyone who doesn't facilitate that tracking. So I guess I'm in  a demographic Safeway wants to get rid of. Either that, or someone in the back office, who knows me by name and personally dislikes me, said, "Jan Kok! I hate that b****. Let's see what she buys and take it off our shelves."

I'm sure that a Safeway corporate executive will read this post, realize what an influential blogger I am, and hasten to order their stores to carry Millstone coffee and Method french lavender soap and also to upgrade their scanner software.

Store brand? I don't need no stinking store brand.